Click Your Heels Three Times
by southerngirl4615
Summary: Sequel to No Place Like Home. You may want to read that to avoid confusion but if confusion is your thing then please read on. The Fellowship is gone. Sauron's army isn't. What will happen to Tina and her friends ? AU Please R&R COMPLETE !
1. Default Chapter

A/N- Thanks to Nienna for reviewing. Thanks to my hubby for being patient. Thanks to my kids for driving me up the wall. Oh, and Nienna thank you for revealing my age to everyone. Now I feel old. This is the sequel to No Place Like Home so you may want to read that one first if you don't want to get confused but if you like confusion please read on. Oh, and at the end of this chapter is another author's note with some interesting info there so you might want to read it. It has absolutely nothing to do with the story but I thought you guys might like it.  
  
Murphy's Law  
  
Tina's POV  
  
Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. If you say you're lucky something hasn't happened to you it will. A streak of good luck can only last for so long before it comes to a bone crushing halt and all you're left with is a nice run of bad luck. Do you get what our situation is now ? That's right. Not good. Outlook on survival is minimal. If I asked a magic Eight-ball if we were going to survive it would probably tell me no. A psychic would say we didn't stand a snowball's chance in hell. Now all we need is a good storm and we'll be completely set for total anniahlation. I just had to open my big mouth didn't I ? No sooner had I thought this than a monsoon rolled in. "Great," I muttered yanking my foot off of the ground as an orc arrow embedded itself there.  
  
"Before we all die I just have one thing to say," Mandy yelled. "I blame Tina for all of this."  
  
"Shove it, Mandy," Matt, O.C., Nienna and I yelled.  
  
Curtis broke us up before we could do anything to hurt each other ",We have to figure something out soon. We can't just stand up here and wait to get shot."  
  
"We could throw Mandy over to them," Nienna said with a psychotic grin.  
  
"Ooooorrrrr, we could actually try shooting at them. That's something that we haven't managed to do since we got up here," Matt called over the booming thunder.  
  
"Fine," we all screamed like two year olds. My side went over to one corner while Mandy's side went to the other. Curtis and Danny just stood in the middle of us. More shaking and support beams cracking from the Watcher in the Water below us. Our options now are either to get shot by orc arrows or to get eaten by the insane piece of sushi in the water. I swayed with the building wondering when it was going to collapse. I had never stayed on the pier before in such conditions but I'm sure that it wouldn't hold up much longer. When my hope was moments away from being extinguished I burst anew. Danny's radio came to life. "Lieutenant Carol do you read ? Can you hear us ? Respond."  
  
Danny nearly dropped the thing trying to get to it. He pushed the button on the side and said ",I'm here so is Curtis. We are with eight civies. We are taking heavy fire. Seriously outnumbered. We need a lift."  
  
"We aim to please," came the voice on the other end. "Look behind you."  
  
Everyone turned around. Lo and behold there coming for us was a transport chopper. I would've cried if I wasn't busy concentrating on killing orcs. The chopper hovered over our heads providing the orcs with a new target. Mandy, of course, was the first one up the rope ladder that was dropped down to us. She was followed by Jonothan, Joel, Faber, Nienna, and Danny. O.C. and Matt were busy trying to help me provide cover fire. "Get in the chopper, Tina," O.C. yelled over the howling wind.  
  
"No. You two go. I'm a better shot than you guys anyway."  
  
Both cast a sideways glance at me before climbing up the rope ladder themselves quickly followed by Curtis. I could hear them yelling for me to hurry up. The chopper was moving away. They were taking on too many arrows. I slung my shotgun over my shoulder and began running for the ladder. It was beyond the rooftop now, over the water. The Watcher was still trying to bring down the warehouse. The orcs were still firing. Just a little closer now. Almost there. Only a little jump. Oh, hell, a big jump. I lept from the building singing at the top of my lungs ",I BELIEVE I CAN FLY."  
  
I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my shoulder. I reached out my hand for the ladder as my momentum was quickly slowing. "OH CRAP," I thought to myself ",Karma sure does have the most inconvienent times to decide to kick you in the ass."  
  
SPLASH !!!!  
  
Really long A/N- Next chapter will be up shortly and it will be longer. I promise. Anyway, on to the information that you should find interesting or a repeat if anything. Rent the Big Empty, Sean Bean is in it. If you were planning on going to see the movie Hero with Jet Li here's a little FYI. Its on video and DVD. It was released a few years ago on Quinten Terrantino's production label as a straight to video. So now you don't have to spend $7 to go see it. I Heart Huckabees with Jude Law will be out October 15. Finding Neverland with Johnny Depp (drool) will be out on October 22. SAW with Cary Elwes will be out in September. Alfie with Jude Law will be out October 22. Flight of the Phoenix with Miranda Otto will be out October 22. The Incredibles will be out November 5. National Treasure (Sean Bean has a part in it) will be out November 24. The Life Aquatic with Cate Blanchett will be out December 25. Just thought you guys would like that and please review. 


	2. Treading Water in Rough Seas

A/N- Thanks to Tongue in Cheek Scribe (I'm glad you're alright. Now hurry up and e-mail me so that I know that everything's okay.)Nienna, and evil-demon2. Well, this is the second chapter of the sequel. So here it goes. And remember starving artists survive off of reviews. Flames are just used to make them all toasty and warm.  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own it. I have nothing witty to put here today.  
  
Treading Water in Rough Seas  
  
SPLASH !!!!  
  
The water's so cold. I can't breathe. I can't get back to the surface. The light of the surface is getting darker.  
  
Matt's POV Almost Nine Years Later  
  
I was rudely awakened by what sounded like an army banging on my door. If they kept it up they door just might come off of its hinges and then they could just walk in. I decided I didn't feel like replacing a door today. I got out of bed and quickly threw on a pair of jeans. I didn't think whoever was at the door would want to see me in my boxers. I sleepily made my way to the front door of my house. I could hear the intruders yelling from the other side ",We know you're in there Mister Forman. We're not leaving until you give us an interview."  
  
Jeez, damn reporters. The war's over. It ended almost as quickly as it began. Why do these people keep hounding me ? I threw the door open letting it bang against the wall as I scowled at the people on my front porch. "Listen, the war ended almost eight years ago. This story is cold. Why keep coming back here ?"  
  
The overly blond reporter didn't blink at my barked response. She just looked to her photographer ",Mister Forman, we're from People magazine. I'm Reanna and this is James. As far as the war being over it is but there are still many things left unanswered. May we come in ?"  
  
"If I just close the door will you go away ?"  
  
"No," Reanna stated simply still not bothering to blink at my rudeness.  
  
I stepped away from the door to give them room ",Well then, come in."  
  
I hate reporters. They always bring up the things you don't want to remember. I was still trying to forget what had happed to all of us during the time that Sauron's army had invaded. I didn't even really want to remember what had happened afterward. I was perfectly happy working and looking forward to tomorrow. But these damn reporters had other things in mind. I had at least one reporter banging on my door at ungodly hours at least once a month. Reanna should feel special. She's the first one I've let in. By the time I walked back into the living room they were already setting up. I decided I should at least make myself look decent and not look like some bum with bad dreams. I went back to my room and pulled on a shirt and a pair of sneakers. I made a quick pit stop in the kitchen and returned with three cans of soda. I sat on the couch while Reanna sat on the worn Laz-y-boy. "Now Mister Forman..."  
  
"Mister Forman is my dad. You can call me Matt."  
  
"Matt, like I said outside there are still several things that are left unexplained."  
  
I could see the red light on her voice recorder so I knew we had already started ",Did you stop to think that maybe those things should be left that way ?"  
  
"Others don't see it that way."  
  
"Just get on with it."  
  
"Why don't you begin with what happened when you and your friends were rescued from the warehouse."  
  
"We didn't need to be rescued. It just happened to come in handy at the moment."  
  
"Well, why don't we start from there."  
  
Flashback  
  
"SHIT ! She fell in," O.C. screamed over his shoulder as we all watched Tina fall into the water.  
  
I was just about to jump in after my best friend when I realized that O.C. had beaten me to it. When the hell did he become a knight in shining armor ? It seemed like forever before the pair surface and by that time the Watcher in the Water realized that its meal was trying to escape. Curtis dropped one of those lifeline things down to them and O.C. wrapped it around the both of them. That's when I noticed that Tina wasn't moving. She had an arrow going through the back of her shoulder with the tip sticking out of the front. She had to have a broken collar bone from that. The pilots took off just in time. The Watcher let out what I think was a howl of anger before going back beneath the surface. Tina and O.C. were lifted into the chopper where Curtis and Danny began working on Tina. The rest of us just huddled in the back staying as far away as we could from the open doors.  
  
I don't know how long we stayed in the air but it wasn't long enough. We ended up landing on a make-shift base in what the military guys called a hot zone. So we still had to be in occupied territory. Tina was taken to a Red Cross tent while the rest of us were taken to another tent to tell the guys in charge everything. And that's what we did. We told them almost everything. We left out the Fellowship guys and why the orcs were here to begin with. After two days they still weren't satisfied but we weren't going to tell them about the Fellowship. That's when Tina joined us. Her injured shoulder had been immobilized and she looked pale. But she was alive and that was all that mattered. O.C. wouldn't leave her side once she had been released from medical care. I knew he was in love with her. But she didn't feel the same. Maybe things would've been different if Haldir had of never showed up. Tina would always care for Haldir and O.C. would always care for Tina. Little did I know how badly this would affect Tina later.  
  
The President was busy feeding the public (who weren't in hot zones mind you) the B.S. line that we had been invaded by one of our many faceless enemies. The public ate it up. Meanwhile, we were busy fighting off orcs. We hadn't been at the base long before we were attacked. The military guys (who turned out to be a mix of Air Force, Marine, and Special Forces) all tried to get us to take shelter but we wouldn't do it. We had been fighting the orcs since they first appeared. So we fought along side of those who had been trained to do it. Tina fought with us until she began to show too much and the Red Cross workers tied her to a bed to keep her from sneaking out to fight. That was one of the lighter moments. The other lighter moment came from Mandy. Mandy walked up to Tina who was sitting at a table with O.C., Nienna, some special forces troops, and me in the mess hall. She still was pissed at Tina for some reason and made every effort to hurt her feelings. "Jeez, Tina, you're huge. I thought unmarried, knocked up women are suppose to have this glow. You just look dry. You should moisturize more."  
  
This came from the girl who stayed as far away from the fight as she could while the rest of us ran head first into battle. The Special Forces guys (who had taken us under their wings and treated us like younger brothers and sisters) stood up, ready to take Mandy out if she opened her mouth again. Tina stood up right behind them ",Finish eating guys. I can handle her. Listen up, Mandy. Go back to your table and keep to yourself. Or the next time you might find a nice boot print on your ass."  
  
Well, okay, so that wasn't a lighter moment but you should have seen the look on Mandy's face when Tina finally stood up to her. It was priceless. The war went on until Tina was about five months pregnant. All of the orcs had been terminated. The Nazgul had disappeared which meant to us that they had went back to Middle Earth. The President declared the war to only have been a conflict. He visited all of the formerly occupied states and declared them disaster areas. Money was filtered in to repair all of the damage. We were taken back home. O.C., Joel, Jonothan, Faber and I lost our entire family. Nienna and Mandy were reunited with theirs. Tina found that her mother hadn't been eaten by a warg but her mom wouldn't have anything to do with her.  
  
There was a memorial concert. The remaining members of A Pocket Full of Strange performed with O.C. as their new guitarist and no one filled Steven's place. They performed only one song. A very guitar heavy version of Lost Prophets' "Wake Up (Make A Move)". It was the last time that the band ever performed or spoke to each other.  
  
End Flashback  
  
Reanna just stared at me with one eyebrow quirked up extremely high. She was reminding me of Lord Elrond. I shuddered at the thought. "That was the last time that they ever spoke?"  
  
"That's what I said."  
  
"In Rolling Stone Tina was quoted as say ',I was a rock goddess now I'm just a peasant,' what did she mean by that ?"  
  
I rolled my eyes ",Where the hell have you been ? Under a rock ? In a cave ? She was referring to Jacob. The guitarist for the band and her soul mate. He was killed in the initial attacks in Hammond. With him dead she knew there was no more music for her."  
  
"There's no need to get upset, Matt. Now tell me why weren't the others involved in the Rolling Stone interview ?"  
  
"They were invited but they never showed. So it was Nienna, O.C., Tina and me on the cover and in the interview. The others never returned calls for comments or to fill in gaps in the story."  
  
"Now," Reanna smiled ",here's the one thing that's been bugging me. Why was Tina committed by her mother ?"  
  
"We won't talk about that. That subject is off limits."  
  
Too bad my mind doesn't know that.  
  
Flashback  
  
I stood in the courtroom beside Tina. Nienna and O.C. were sitting behind us. Tina's mother (who I wish had been eaten by a warg) was suing for the right to place Tina in an institution for the mentally insane. Her mother was saying that Tina didn't possess all of her mental faculties. That was true but she wasn't insane. The judge walked into the room and we all sat down. Tina's mother never took her eyes off of us. The judge cleared his throat to turn our attention to him ",Now, Tina, your mother says that you have had a nervous breakdown. She wishes this court to give her the right to place you into an institution of her choice until the doctors say that you can be released. What do you have to say on this matter."  
  
"I'm not crazy. I haven't had a breakdown. My mother only wants me committed so that I don't ruin her name because I'm pregnant and not married."  
  
"Your mother argues otherwise. She says that you told her you were impregnated by a Keebler Elf."  
  
"My mother has no sense of humor."  
  
The judge cleared his throat again ",She also says that she has documented proof of you discussing fictional characters visiting you."  
  
"My mother is the one that should be committed."  
  
"You, little girl, are not helping your case. I will listen to the tapes in my chambers and make my decision. Court is in session for thirty minutes."  
  
We all knew which way he was going to decide. Tina's mom was held in high regards in their parish even though they didn't have money anymore. The judge came back and determined that Tina's mother was in the right and that she could place her anywhere she wished until Tina was well medicated and healed.  
  
Tina's mom put her in one of the worse state-run hospitals in the state. Once there, Tina not having anything to keep her busy but her thoughts, did have a breakdown. Unfortunately, her mother didn't put her there in time. The Rolling Stone was published revealing to everyone a very pregnant Tina. Nienna soon joined Tina in the nut house. Nienna faked being crazy just so she could keep Tina company. For two months they did the Thorazine shuffle before they were released. Tina was released on the condition that she married the guy who knocked her up. I stepped forward but Tina's mom just laughed at me. Turns out she knew me a little too well. O.C. came forward and they were married a few days later.  
  
End Flashback  
  
"We know that O.C. married Tina," Reanna sighed ",but we can't find any records of her after that. How did she managed to just fall off of the face of the earth ?"  
  
"The world would have to be flat for her to do that."  
  
"Do you still talk to her ?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Could you arrange and interview for us ?"  
  
"No. Tina deserves her privacy just like I deserve mine."  
  
My phone rang and I didn't even bother to excuse myself as I went to answer it. "Hello," I asked roughly.  
  
"Its me. I need you to fly out. The plane tickets are already at the airport."  
  
"I'll leave in five minutes." I walked back into the living room not bothering to sit back down ",You guys have to leave now. I have other things to take care of."  
  
"Was that Tina on the phone ? Or Nienna ? We've been trying to find them."  
  
"Its none of your business. Now leave."  
  
I shoved the pair out of my house and slammed the door on Reanna yelling ",We know where O.C. is. We'll just ask him."  
  
Go for it. I doubt he'll give you the answers you want.  
  
Nienna's POV  
  
Nienna's Home, Undisclosed non-U.S. location  
  
The phone had continuously rang for an hour. After nearly throwing it out of the window I finally decided to answer it ",Hello. This had better be good or I'll find you and kick the crap out of you."  
  
"I need you to fly out. I have the tickets at the airport for you."  
  
"Tina ? Where the hell are you ?"  
  
"You'll find out soon enough. The twins want answers and they don't believe me so I'm calling in reinforcements."  
  
"I'm leaving now."  
  
Mandy's POV  
  
Mandy's home, New York  
  
"Hello."  
  
"I know we said that we wouldn't talk to one another again but I need you to answer some questions for my kids."  
  
"You can do it yourself. You were there too."  
  
"You can fill in the gaps. The plane ticket is waiting for you. I know you won't turn down a free trip so just take the trip. A car will be waiting to pick you up."  
  
The other line clicked and I knew that Tina had hung up. I didn't want to go and help her. I don't care if it was for the kids or not. I had left that part of my life behind but I still held a nasty grudge against Tina.  
  
Joel, Faber, and Jonothan's POV  
  
Their shared home, Los Angeles  
  
The answering machine light was flashing showing one new message. We all hoped it was a new gig but it was just Tina. She wanted us to fly out to her home. All expenses paid. We didn't want to see her since it brought back too many painful memories of Jacob and Steven but we decided to go anyway.  
  
A/N- Next Time  
  
The Earth is Flat- Reanna tracks down O.C. Will she get the answers she wants ? And why does Tina need to see everyone ? Where the hell is she anyway ? And don't worry. A twist in the plot will bring back some much loved characters. 


	3. The Earth is Flat

Disclaimer- I don't own it. Never will. But I can hope and wish on a star.  
  
The Earth is Flat  
  
O.C.'s POV  
  
The damn reporter won't go away. I slam the door in her face...she's still there. I call the cops on her...she comes back. I shoot at the ground in front of her feet...she doesn't budge. She's like a stray that won't go away. Maybe if I find out what she wants first then I can find a way to make her disappear short of an ax and a tarp. "What do you want ?"  
  
"I just want to hear your side of things and possibly find a way to get in touch with Tina."  
  
"You want my side pick up the Rolling Stone we were in. Or the Time. Or any newspaper across the country. As for finding Tina she's not here."  
  
"When will she be back ?"  
  
"She won't. She left. Now you do the same."  
  
I slammed the door closed and fought with my brain not to remember but it didn't work.  
  
Flashback  
  
After I married Tina we found out that she was carrying twins. She wasn't exactly thrilled. She could've handled one. But two ? We didn't exactly have a choice in the matter. Things began to change soon after the twins were born. Logan and Jordan completely changed our lives. Liquor cabinets were soon replaced with formula. Junk food was replaced by healthy food that we would've never touched in the past. The apartment was replaced by a little, cozy house with a white picket fence complete with a dog. Mini skirts and club gear were replaced by jeans and formula stained t-shirts. Late nights out were replaced a few years later too. Soccer games and dance recitals took their places. I fell in love with the twins and raised them like they were my own. We were a happy family. Emphasis on the word 'were'.  
  
The twins were perfect in every way. They took after their father in that respect. Jordan looked more like her mother with the attitude to match. She loved to destroy things. Logan was a shorter carbon copy of his father. Their ears were pointed and the doctors all tried to get us to "fix" them but Tina would just smile and politely say ",That is what makes them unique. If it was something major that would affect the way they went through life I would but this is who they are."  
  
So the twins grew up before our eyes. They formed their own personalities. Jordan loved dance and destruction. Our house showed it too. Logan loved soccer because he was the fastest one on the field and when he wasn't occupied by school or sports he was trying to find a way to get rid of his sister. Jordan preferred to hang out with me working on cars or playing music. Logan preferred to stay with Tina helping her complete her degree in archeology.  
  
It was somewhere after the twins turned eight that our little family began to split apart. Pippin made a sudden appearance through our DVD player. While there he ranted to Tina about her muse and needing to write. Then Tina stuffed him back into the VCR where he went back to where he came from. The twins were completely fascinated by this new visitor and wanted to know more. Tina knew that she couldn't hide the truth from them any longer. She retreated to her room to figure things out. At one point in time I heard her crying but I didn't go comfort her.  
  
About a week later she came to me to 'discuss' things. I say it like that because no real discussion happened. Tina just looked at me and stated ",I'm leaving. I'm taking the kids. I got funding for an expedition and I'm taking them with me so I can try to explain things to them while trying to find proof that I'm not nor have I ever been crazy."  
  
I looked up at her from my seat on the floor where I'd been rebuilding an engine ",What did you get funding for ?"  
  
"To try and find the first civilization. I believe Middle Earth was that."  
  
I had known that this time would come. I just hoped it would've been when I was old and gray with one foot in the grave. I wasn't going to fight it. If she was ever going to come back to me and reform our family to the way it was I had to let her go. I just nodded my head ",Be safe. Make sure to call me and let me know how things are going. I want to keep in touch with the kids as much as possible."  
  
"I wouldn't keep them from calling you. We'll be leaving in the morning."  
  
And then she was gone and I was alone. All alone with reporters hunting me down. I should have followed Tina's lead and changed my last name. She managed to convince everyone that the earth was flat and she had fallen off of the edge.  
  
End Flashback  
  
Its almost time for Tina to call.  
  
A/N- Next Chapter: It Always Happens To Us  
  
Everyone gathers to tell Tina's twins the story of the war. But something happens that lands them in unfamiliar territory. And how is Tina's expedition going anyway ? Sorry about the flashbacks but that's how I wanted to write the first few chapters of this story. There won't be anymore. I promise. 


	4. It Always Happens To Us

A/N-Thanks to LadyoftheLlamas for reviewing. I'll be sure to send you plenty of death threats to make you update your story. If anyone is scratching their head wondering what I'm talking about she's on SoupFiction under BJH. Go check out her stories. She has way more than me.  
  
A/N 2- As for the part where Pippin puts in a surprise visit to Tina through her DVD player. That was a flashback from a chapter in No Place Like Home. It was called The Chapter That Has Nothing and I Mean Nothing to Do With The Story. As it turns out it did have something to do with the story. The twins are based off of my own kids though they're not twins. One is five and wants to take over the world and the other one is almost six months old.  
  
Disclaimer- I bought it all last night. (Lawyer gives the glare of death. Clutch my throat seeing as I can't breathe and that's what they do in all of the movies) Scratch that. Don't own it.  
  
It Always Happens To Us  
  
Tina's POV  
  
Raising kids. Hard. Managing an archeology site. Harder. Raising kids, managing a site, and doing it alone. Damn near impossible. Try doing this while your half-way across the globe. You'll want to pull your hair out. We were in our fifth site spot which just happened to be Northern Scotland and we had made a major find. It was a broken piece of wood but I knew exactly what it was. It was a piece of mallorn. Why it didn't decompose after all of these years I'll never know. But it was under my microscope and I was staring at it intently while the twins and my guests ate dinner. The guests just happened to be everyone that I had told to come out. No one had turned down the trip. Mandy, Joel, Faber and Jonothan just wanted a free vacation. The others actually wanted to help me tell the kids who their dad was. They knew it wasn't O.C. since they didn't look anything like him but I never answered their probing questions. Mainly because I just wasn't ready.  
  
A voice from the doorway draws my attention away from the microscope ",Is it important ?"  
  
I nodded to Matt and Nienna ",Its mallorn. It was a part of a bow. Wanna guess who the bow belonged to."  
  
"It can't be Legolas'. Could it," Nienna's face had lit up at the possibility.  
  
"It sure is. Which means that we are standing on the Grey Havens. We found one of the lands of Middle Earth."  
  
"You found part of Middle Earth, Tina," Matt corrected me.  
  
"This discovery belongs to all of us." I sat the piece of broken bow in a safe place (safe being an actual safe with three combination locks) before sighing and running a hand through my still short hair ",I suppose its time that we told them."  
  
The three of us joined the others in the small living room where we began to tell the twins about what had happened during the war or conflict depending on who you are.  
  
Three Hours Later...  
  
The twins looked at all of us in disbelief complete with gaping mouths. Jordan was the first one to speak ",You are all nuts. Psycho. Loony. Crazy. Loco. You all need straight jackets and padded rooms."  
  
"But, Jordan," Logan interrupted ",what about the thing mom found today ? Its older than anything ever found before."  
  
"She could've bought it," Jordan snapped, sticking her tongue out at Logan.  
  
This was really fun. As fun as a root canal. I decided I needed something to drink. ",I'm going for some tea. Anybody else want some ?"  
  
No one answered me since they couldn't hear me over the twins yelling at each other. I went into the even smaller kitchen to make my tea. With water in the mug I stuck it in the microwave. Its the worst way to make tea but its so much faster and that's what I needed was fast. I needed chamomile to calm my way past frayed nerves. Some chamomile and a handful of Prozac would have been prime but the tea will have to do. I observed myself in the spoon I was holding and nearly screamed. Was that grey hair ? Oh my god. I'm only twenty-seven. How could I have grey hair already ? Nevermind, I just remembered. I have two half-elven twins that are constantly at each others throats. "You are not going grey, Tina," Nienna laughed from the doorway.  
  
"How is it that you can read my mind ?"  
  
"We spent so much quality time together in the loony bin."  
  
"You were only there because you had nothing better to do and you thought it would be fun."  
  
She just shrugged her shoulders before looking past me to the microwave ",Does your nuker always have a bright white ball in it ?"  
  
"No." I quickly looked over my shoulder to see that the white, glowing ball was getting bigger. "Get everyone out."  
  
We ran to the living room to push everyone out of the door but the ball of light knew what we were doing. The lot of us were engulfed into the mass while screaming our heads off. Well, the twins weren't. They were laughing. I really hope that the white stone ground that I'm seeing below us is not what we're going to be landing on. That scenery soon changed and we landed with a WHUMP on the soft grass of a forest. I looked at the twins to see that they were perfectly fine and had already climbed up a tree. I looked down at myself and I was also fine. There was just one thing wrong. I...was...animated. More than that there was a hobbit and some dwarfs running toward us. "We're in the Hobbit," Matt yelled.  
  
"And if they're running from what I think they're running from we need to get up a tree," I called over my shoulder, already halfway up the tree that my kids were in.  
  
"Duh," Jordan sighed sarcastically ",why do you think we're up here. Gah, adults can be so dumb."  
  
We all scrambled up different trees and I found myself nose to nose with a certain hobbit in another tree. "Hello, Bilbo," I said cheerfully. "What brings you to this dark forest today ?"  
  
"Do I know you ?"  
  
"No, but I know Frodo. I'm an old friend of his."  
  
Loud barking drew my sight down and I could see the wargs with their orc riders trying to get at us. I think I know who's behind this. "Celeborn," I growled ",you had better get us out of here or I swear that I will personally rip you limb from..."  
  
We were immediately zapped out of there before I could finish my threat. This time though we did land on the stone floor that I had seen earlier. The twins landed on top of me and were looking around with impossibly huge eyes. "Look, Logan. Its that boy that came out of our DVD player that we wanted to keep but he said that we couldn't and that he wasn't a dog."  
  
I looked up to see a blue cloudless sky. We were outdoors on a hard stone terrace. It looked very familiar. I looked around me to see that we were being stared at by a lot of people. I stood up as quickly as I could managed and took a fighting stance. Where the hell had Celeborn dropped us now ? And didn't I threated him with a painful death if he ever used magic again ? I looked at our surroundings some more. Big city beneath us. Large white citadel. Big tree. A very familiar man walking toward me. "Tina ? Matt ? Nienna ? Oh, how I hoped that you would make it this day."  
  
Aragorn grabbed me in a death grip that I believed he called a hug ",Hi, Aragorn. What day did we make it to ?"  
  
"My coronation. The ring was destroyed. I see you brought everyone along. Who are the chil...," his voice trailed off as he eyed the twins. They of course struck their most regal pose that eight year olds could manage. The stance brought choked laughter from the Hobbits who received a very nasty look from Jordan. "They have your eyes but Haldir's attitude."  
  
"You haven't seen the girl in action yet. She's just like me."  
  
"I should fear for my kingdom."  
  
"No, you should fear for your people. Your kingdom won't stand long against her. She's Jordan and the boy is Logan."  
  
"Why did you not tell us that you were with child ?"  
  
"Legolas knew. I thought he would tell you."  
  
Aragorn shot Legolas a dirty look over his should which Legolas met with a smile. Aragorn turned back to us as he released me then went to greet everyone else in turn. "Aragorn, uhm, shouldn't you get back to being crowned so that you could, oh I don't know, marry Arwen."  
  
"Wha..? Yes, I should. Do not go anywhere we have much to discuss."  
  
Where would we go ? Celeborn was responsible for bringing us here so he would have to send us home again. I moved to stand beside the hobbits and my children but my way was blocked. I looked into clear blue eyes that I had never forgotten. It was Haldir. The Haldir. My Haldir. His blond hair was shining in the sun setting off a round of envy in my just because of the way it looked. He wore clothing suited to his title and the tunic stretched across his chest. Heartbeat was a little faster now. I was starting to wonder why I wanted to go home. "Aragorn is not the only one who has much to discuss with you."  
  
I looked past him to the twins. Jordan showed no emotion toward the elf but Logan was on the verge of attack dog mode. I think I even heard him growl. Well, he obviously did since Haldir glanced over at them. "Sorry, he's very protective of me."  
  
"I just hope he does not bite."  
  
"You never know. He is my son."  
  
Haldir moved out of my way so I could stand where I needed to so that the coronation could continue. Pippin was slowly inching his way towards me in order to escape the clutches of Jordan. He finally just ran to the other side of me and clutched my hand in his own. A grown man..er, hobbit was scared of a couple of kids. I think I would be too if I wasn't their mom.  
  
The crowning went off without a hitch and soon we were swept away to the party. Merry and Pippin, being such a fascination to the kids, were stuck with the job of babysitting them. Aragorn had passed by well-wishers and his people to pull his new guests to a quiet alcove where we could talk. I just wanted to get my hands on Celeborn and wring his neck but seeing Haldir made the feelings lessen a little. Once seated in comfortable chairs, surrounded by the others that we had met in our world, we began to relax a little. Mandy, of course, didn't relax at all once she found out that Boromir hadn't followed simple advice and had gotten himself killed.  
  
"How did you get here," Aragorn asked in awe while holding Arwen's hand.  
  
"Ask Celeborn. He's the one that can't leave well enough alone."  
  
Galadriel who had joined us gave her husband a look that told Celeborn that he would be sleeping on the couch for weeks to come. Celeborn could only find fascination in the stone floor below his feet. Other new faces had joined the ones that I knew. Arwen's brothers were sitting close by to see if we were worth their time. Mandy obviously was since they had an evil glint in their eye that was sure to lead to some sort of hilarious trouble. I almost felt sorry for her. Notice I say almost.  
  
"Your twins remind me of their father when he was young," Galadriel stated, watching two blurs run out of the doors followed quickly by two angry hobbits. I could only smile at Haldir's obvious discomfort. "I have many stories to tell that you may find quite humorous," she confided loud enough for myself and the other elves to hear. Haldir began to turn red.  
  
We caught up on things that had been happening. We were told the complete tale of how the ring had been destroyed. We told them about the war. I felt warm fingers trace the three inch scar on my cheek and looked up to see Haldir staring at it. I suddenly felt very self-conscious. After many tales had been told I heard a pair of very distinct voices yelling about not needing to go to bed. I looked through the open hall doors to see one very disturbed looking guard with a twin under each arm following a nurse maid toward the rooms that had been arranged for them.  
  
"There's too much to do," Logan protested.  
  
"There's too much to destroy," Jordan screamed.  
  
"People like you are the reason Rome fell," Logan shot back.  
  
"Nerd."  
  
"Dork."  
  
"Goober."  
  
"Dweeb."  
  
"Troll butt."  
  
"N'Sync lover."  
  
Their voices faded off into the distance. I turned back to the group to see them all looking at me with small smiles on their faces. I just shrugged ",What do you expect ?"  
  
The party continued on for hours and I soon found myself nodding off from time to time as the night wore on. Someone else had obviously noticed also. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned coming face to face with one of the many servants in the castle. "My lady." She curtsied. She curtsied to me like I was important or something. "King Elessar has instructed me to show you to your chambers and to see to all of your needs."  
  
I followed her to a large bedroom that held the biggest bed that I had ever seen in my life. I immediately ran in and began jumping on it like one of my kids would do. Eriana, I had found out her name on the way to the room, stared at me in shock. I don't think ladies of status behave in that manner. "Come on, Eriana. Its fun. Come jump on the bed."  
  
"Nay, my lady. Will there be anything else tonight ?"  
  
"No."  
  
"The King had me arrange for suitable clothing. There are sleeping gowns in that drawer. Your dresses are within the wardrobe. I will be here in the morning to attend to you."  
  
Eriana bowed her head before ducking out of the bedroom. I sighed before flopping down on the bed. Nice, comfy, warm, bed that I will never be able to afford in my own time. I should change so I did exactly that. I climbed back into the bed being sure to twist myself accurately in the blankets before drifting off.  
  
My next cohesive thoughts were of feeling something touching the scar on my shoulder. I shrugged it off thinking it was one of the kids but the fingers didn't go away. "Jordan, leave mommy alone. I need sleep."  
  
A deep laugh startled me awake. I ended up falling right out of bed and onto the cold stone below. I looked up to see Haldir smiling down at me in that way that he has that can tick me off and make me melt at the same time. "I seem to remember this happening once before."  
  
I stood up, blushing bright red, and set my fists on my hips ",What gives you the right to just come in here and..."  
  
I never got to finish. Haldir moved faster than I had ever seen him move before and kissed me like I had never been kissed before. When he pulled away he traced the scar on my face once more ",I have done nothing but think of you since I left. I have missed you."  
  
Home ? What home ? Responsibilities ? What are those ? I'm just going to stay right here.  
  
A/N- I once again wrote this off of the top of my head and wasn't feeling too funny when I wrote it. The next chapter should have some humor in it. Just simply because something is going to happen to Mandy. And Nienna will get some alone time with Frodo but first she has to get rid of Sam. Throwing him off of a cliff should do it. Oh, and thanks to Tongue In Cheek Scribe, Nienna and everyone else who reviewed. I opened my mail to see that I had like 7 reviews. I feel so special. And Nienna check your e-mail.  
  
Next Chapter- Human Elf Experiment 


	5. Human Elf Experiment

A/N- Thanks to Nienna and Tongue in Cheek Scribe for always reviewing my stories and giving me an ego boost when I need it.

Human Elf Experiment  
  
I was there in Haldir's arms. And it wasn't a dream this time. I had lost all of my senses. For all I knew I could be hanging upside down in a lake. Luckily, something caused me to pull myself back together. Logan came barging in, looking quite angry, with his attendant right behind him. He stopped mid-stride to let what he was seeing process in his young mind. I don't think the results his brain gave him were what he wanted. I pulled out of Haldir's grasp only to have Logan run past me looking even angrier if that was even possible. "Oi, what are you doin' to my mom ?"  
  
Being half-elven and young gave him a speed that I couldn't even keep up with on my best day. Before I could catch Logan he had bounded onto the bed and landed on Haldir's back. And once Logan latches on the jaws of life couldn't get him off.  
  
"Logan, you let him go right now."  
  
"NO ! If my dad was here he would kill you right now."  
  
I sighed in frustration ",Logan, this is your dad."  
  
Haldir during this time was trying to pry Logan off of his back without hurting him. He gained an inch but Logan retaliated by grabbing two handfuls of hair and dropping to the mattress. "This is Haldir ? The great March warden ? Puh-leeze."  
  
"I am Haldir. I am you father. Now LET ME GO !"  
  
Logan's mouth dropped to the floor as he released Haldir's hair. Haldir managed to straighten himself as best he could. Which was a good thing seeing as two more of Lorien's finest burst into the room to stand behind Logan's attendant. Observing our two newest arrivals let me know that they were Haldir's brothers: Orophin and Rumil. They immediately began snickering as my Eriana brushed past them into the room. She quickly covered my gown in a robe and shot all of the men in the room a withering glare. "Have you no decency ? Do you Lorien elves always barge into a woman's private chamber ? Out ! All of you out !"  
  
Rumil and Orophin, who were a nice shade of red at having been talked to that way, sulked out of the room. That only left Haldir who was quickly pinned under Eriana's gaze ",That means you too."  
  
"I do not answer to any save the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien." At that I raised an eyebrow that when he noticed he quickly backtracked ",And the mother of my children."  
  
"Then I suggest you leave, Haldir," I smirked. Once he was out of the room I turned to look at Logan who was still in complete shock on my bed ",Now what was it that you wanted, Logan ?"  
  
"I was gonna come ask you ta make me breakfast. But she," he thumbed toward the maid behind him ",said that I couldn't disturb you. Said that you wouldn't make me breakfast."  
  
"Let me get dressed and then I'll see what I can do. What do you want to eat ?"  
  
"Pancakes. Lots of syrup. And strawberries. Hey, let me go...mom," Logan screamed as he was drug from the room.  
  
I laughed as I shook my head at my own son. That maid was in for a world of trouble. The only person who could possibly be worse off is Jordan's maid. Eriana was looking at me with a slightly amused look on her face. "I can see King Elessar sent me to tend to you. He said that life in your kingdom could be quite adventuresome and I can see that you have brought some of it here. Now, my lady, what will you wear today ?"  
  
Eriana had just finished doing what she could with my chin length hair when we heard it. A blood curdling scream from down the hall. I ran to the source as fast as I could which wasn't as fast as I would've like since I was wearing a dress. The screams were coming from Mandy's room. I swung open the door just as I was joined by Haldir, Legolas and Gimli. There was Mandy. Stuck to the ceiling. I looked back out into the hallway to see two dark headed elves running as fast as they could. Elrond's twins had struck. I could only laugh as I walked away leaving the three men to get the angry girl down.  
  
Nienna's POV  
  
I was walking in the gardens when I tripped over a big hobbit foot. The foot just happened to be attached to none other than Frodo. "I'm sorry, Nienna. Are you alright."  
  
Oh, yes, perfectly fine. You're a god. But instead I said ",Its okay. What are you doing out here ?"  
  
"Trying to avoid Sam. Ever since we destroyed the ring he has been by my side. Always asking if I'm alright and if I need anything. It can be quite annoying."  
  
"I can imagine." We sat there for a few minutes in complete silence. "I think this is the most we've talked since the whole Pippin destroyed my house thing."  
  
"I cannot tell you enough how sorry I am for that. Pippin can be a little rambunctious at times. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you ?"  
  
The perfect question. I immediately nuzzled myself against Frodo's side. Completely content to cuddle with the hobbit of my dreams. Frodo, however, was a bit confused. "Uhm, Nienna, what are you doing ?"  
  
"You're making up for Pippin destroying my house. Just go with it."  
  
"Ah, okay." Another long pause from Frodo. "This isn't half bad."  
  
No, no it wasn't. It was great.  
  
Logan's POV  
  
Stupid servants. Always telling me what to do. I thought I was suppose to tell them what to do. This makes no sense. The stupid maid brought me straight down to the dining hall and plopped me none too gently in a chair at one of the tables. She wouldn't even let me go get mom. I'll show her. I'll talk to Elladan and Elrohir later and see if they'll help me out.  
  
I was so busy looking down at my plate, being angry at the world, that I didn't really notice the person sit across from me. I thought it was Jordan until I realized that the person was way too tall to be her. I looked up to see that Haldir guy. I guess I should say my dad. Why do I want to gag on that word. He smiled at me and I stuck my tongue out at him. He cleared his throat. "How old are you, Logan ?"  
  
"Why don't you ask my mom. 'Sides aren't you already suppose to know since you're my dad and all."  
  
"I left shortly after....Eru, how am I to explain this. Time passes differently here than in your world."  
  
I growled at the blond elf. Now if only I could bite him then maybe he would leave my mom alone. I looked around and saw no way of getting across the table without being caught so I grumbled an answer ",Eight."  
  
"What was that ?"  
  
"I said I was eight. Eight years old."  
  
"And your sister ?"  
  
"Were you hit on the head or somethin' ? We're twins. We're the same age."  
  
"I see."  
  
"No," I growled again. I hoped intimidation would work ",you don't. We don't need you to be our dad. We don't want you to be our dad. We have a dad. All mom has to do is figure things out and then go back to him. You don't need to hang around me to make nice with her."  
  
Haldir leaned across the table ",I am your father and I will not be spoken to in that manner. Either you treat me with some respect or do not speak to me at all."  
  
I slid out of my chair, holding my nose high in the air ",Well, then I won't speak to you. I'm gonna find Gandalf to see if we can get outta here."  
  
Haldir's POV  
  
I watched as Logan walked away toward the table that Gandalf was sitting. I do not know what I did to offend the boy so. I was just trying to get to know one of my children. Who exactly was Logan talking about when he said that he already had a dad. Perhaps my daughter can help me out.  
  
I found Jordan torturing the Citadel guards. I've never seen men look so relieved when I pulled her away. "What do you want," Jordan snapped.  
  
"Do you know who I am ?"  
  
"Yeah, your my dad. You're the guy that knocked my mom up before coming back here claiming to have duties that you couldn't leave behind. Have you seen my mom ? She's hot. Any man would give his hands away to be with her. Are you nuts ?"  
  
"I had to guard the kingdom that I live in. You would not understand such matters."  
  
"Whatever. I'm going back to play."  
  
I stopped her. Maybe trying to get on their level would help them to like me. I knelt down going eye-to-eye with Jordan. "Who is the man that raised you ?"  
  
Jordan arched an eyebrow, looking a little too much like her mother, before answering ",O.C. My mom married O.C. and not you."  
  
Jordan skipped away to continue torturing the guards while I boiled inside. I quickly stood, determined to find Tina. The second scream of the morning interrupted the mission though.  
  
A/N- Next Chapter: The I Hate You Club. What have the twins done to Mandy now ? Haldir confronts Tina. Celeborn doesn't like the way things are going and decides to enlist some help with this spell. And once again I'm not feeling too funny. My little girl is going to school for the first time and I'm feeling quite emotional. Damn maternal emotions. I can't imagine what a wreck I'll be when she goes off to college. I promise I'll try to make the chapters funnier. If not I may have to change the category that this story falls under. Anyway, please read and review.


	6. The I Hate You Club

A/N- Special thanks to LadyoftheLlamas who managed to put a smile on my face today. Go check her out at SoupFiction under BJH. Her stories rock. Thanks again go out to Tongue in Cheek Scribe and Nienna.  
  
Disclaimer- I always forget these. I don't own it. So don't sue because all you'll get is the lint out of my pockets.  
  
The I Hate You Club  
  
Tina's POV  
  
I was in one of the Citadel's many rooms with Aragorn, Arwen, Gandalf, Celeborn, Elrond, and Galadriel. Elladan and Elrohir were joining us also but mainly because they were avoiding Mandy. It seems that the troublesome duo dyed Mandy blue to see what she would look like. They were quite happy with the results but lets just say that Mandy was less than pleased with her new skin color. Matt had decided to explore the grounds. Joel, Faber and Jonothan were trying their luck with some of the local women. Everyone else I had no idea where they were.  
  
"Now, Celeborn, can you please inform us as to your reasons for bringing Tina and her friends here from their world," Aragorn asked a little more sharply than what was needed.  
  
"I was quite tired of Haldir moping around but mostly it was because no one believed me."  
  
"No on believed you," I shot back, sitting forward in my chair. "That is the crappiest reason I have ever heard. You're an elf, so you're what, a billion years old ? You're acting like you're two."  
  
"I just wanted everyone to know that I was not crazy," Celeborn mumbled to the floor.  
  
"I think you are even crazier now," Galadriel spoke for the first time. "Pulling these poor children from their home world, from their lives, just satisfy your fancy."  
  
"Lady Tina," Eriana called from the doorway ",Marchwarden Haldir wishes a word with you."  
  
"I have already informed you that I needn't be announced," Haldir barked pushing past the frazzled girl. Haldir stormed up to me and ground out from beneath clenched teeth ",Might I have a word with you in private, Lady Tina."  
  
Galadriel looked up at her trusted guard with a frown ",Haldir, we are in the midst of an important discussion. Can this not wait ?"  
  
"Nay. Now if you will just come with me." Haldir didn't give me much of a choice considering he threw me over his shoulder. I pounded on his back for a split second before I realized that it would do no good. I looked up to see Galadriel with a concerned look on her face while the others tried to hide their amusement.  
  
"I would choose your answer to his question wisely, Lady Tina," Galadriel advised in my head.  
  
So I guess that Haldir was just a bit more than slightly pissed. Once we were a suitable distance away from the room that Haldir had kidnapped me from (I guess he didn't want the other elves to hear) he dropped me onto the ground. Stone is not as soft as you would like to believe. I quickly stood up and rubbed my aching backside.  
  
"What the hell is your problem ?"  
  
"You married another."  
  
"And your point would be ?"  
  
"That you married another. You should have married me."  
  
"See," I began going into mom mode and talking to him like I would Logan or Jordan ",there's this little problem. It begins with you being here in Middle Earth and with me being on Earth. We are from two very different times. Two very different worlds. How could we've gotten married ?"  
  
"We could have found a way."  
  
"Typical man."  
  
"I am not a man. I am an elf. Do not insult me."  
  
"That's another problem right there. You're a snob. You hate humans. So how could you marry me. I'm human. Hello...you don't like humans."  
  
"I like you. That's all that should matter."  
  
"You don't marry someone you like, Haldir. You marry someone you love."  
  
Haldir's face went dark as he scowled. "You married O.C. Can you tell me that you love him."  
  
Now it was my turn to scowl. I hadn't expected him to ask that. I just thought that since I was a human and he was an elf that he would get over it and move on. Stupid elf. "We married out of necessity. I was put in a bad place by my mother and the only way out was to marry someone so that the twins would have a father."  
  
"You did not marry him out of love. So how can you say that I could not marry you."  
  
"I....argh, its like talking to the kids."  
  
I stalked off down the hall and ended up bumping shoulders with Mandy the Smurf. "Watch where you're going, freak," she hissed.  
  
"Excuse you, Miss Center of the World. Why are you mad at me anyway ?"  
  
She didn't answer. Mandy just continued on her mission to find Elladan and Elrohir so she could kill them.  
  
Nienna's POV  
  
Yeah, still cuddling with the god of hobbits. So...go away.  
  
Tina's POV  
  
The bell for dinner soon rang and I set out to find my children who I hadn't seen all day. Which could only be taken as a bad sign. They were in the banquet hall, sitting as far away from everyone as possible. I sat down beside them and was greeted by a round of angry stares that brought out parental guilt. "I'm sorry. But the grown ups had to talk. I was trying to find us a way back home."  
  
"I got punished," Logan pouted. "You throw one maid in the lake and you get put in the corner for an hour. That's harsh."  
  
"I made the guards scream," Jordan chirped. "And I made them run away. It was fun."  
  
I smiled down at them while trying to be stern at the same time. It didn't work. "Well, I'm here to eat with you guys and then I'll tuck you in for the night. We'll spend time together."  
  
They both brightened at that. Logan though soon adopted a frown ",Tell the Haldir guy to go eat somewhere else."  
  
Standing at the head of the table was Haldir who was trying his best to be nice despite the way the kids had been treating him. "May I sit ?"  
  
"No," both twins barked out.  
  
"Do it at your own risk, Haldir."  
  
He sat and for once the twins were completely quiet through dinner.  
  
Meanwhile in one of the studies....  
  
"Why should I help you cast yet another spell," Elrond asked his father-in-law.  
  
"No one is being honest with themselves or each other. Mandy, Joel, Jonothan and Faber refuse to tell Tina, Matt and Nienna why they're mad at them. Tina and Haldir refuse to admit their feelings for each other. And Mandy, Joel, Faber, Jonothan, Tina, Matt or Nienna are dealing with what they went through. We have to help somehow. I just do not wish to mess this one up as badly as I have previous spells."  
  
Elrond sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose. What was he to do. It was true that they needed to sort things out so that they could get on with their lives. But was a badly cast spell the way to do it. If Elrond helped out it may not go wrong. Elrond looked at Celeborn who was silently pleading ",Fine, I will help you. But if this one goes awry then you take full responsibility with those who will come after you."  
  
"I think I will be able to live with that."  
  
And so they began to work their magic.  
  
Back in the dining hall....  
  
"Lady Tina, Haldir has told us that you have a remarkable voice. As well as that some of your companions are very skilled in playing music. Will you sing and play for us," Lady Galadriel requested from the head table.  
  
"I'm afraid that Haldir does not know a good voice when he hears one. I will have to decline your request."  
  
"Tina," Aragorn called ",please serenade us. There are instruments in the far corner as you can see. Perhaps your friends could play along."  
  
I was going to protest again when I felt something warm spread through my chest. I looked down to see that I was glowing. When I looked back up I could see the faint glow all through the hall. I felt the compulsion to sing. Without warning something that sounded slightly like a guitar began to play followed by some strange sounding drums. I opened my mouth and began to sing:  
  
_Overbearing panic attack entrenching my veins In an hour I'll be ok I pray this pain will go away permanently someday I've seen more than.  
I should have to.  
I've seen this on my own  
  
this song is a,  
poem to myself,  
it helps me to live... in case of fire,  
BREAK the glass, and move on into your own...  
  
reoccurring drowning effect entrenching my brain,  
i hope you'll be ok someday,  
so i can say that you moved on in the right way... WE'VE seen this and WE'VE breathed this and WE'VE lived this on our own...  
  
this song is a,  
poem to myself,  
it helps me to live... in case of fire,  
BREAK the glass, and move on into your own.  
your own...  
  
BREAK...  
  
this song is a,  
poem to myself,  
it helps me to live... in case of fire,  
BREAK the glass, and move on into your own...  
_  
When it was over I could only sit there staring at my plate while we were applauded. It had been years since I had sang. The twins didn't even know that I use to be in a band. I had never sang them lullabies or anything because it hurt too much to sing. Why had I chosen now to do it. "Haldir is not a bad judge of voices if I may speak for the Marchwarden," Galadriel whispered in my head.  
"I don't know why I did it. I just felt like I had to or I would burst," I thought back to her.  
Little did I know what had really caused me to do it but that I would find out soon enough.  
  
A/N- Next Chapter- The Buffy Rip-Off. This idea has been slowly gnawing at my brain so I decided to go ahead with it to save what little mind I have left. The spell does not go as planned. Now everyone in Middle Earth is singing about their feelings. (shakes head) Stupid plot bunnies. Anyway, they're not singing Middle Earth songs at all. They're singing modern songs since the spell went wrong. Will Mandy, Faber, Jonothan and Joel finally tell Tina, Matt and Nienna why they're angry with them. Will Tina and Haldir get over themselves. Will the twins (both sets) suddenly have manners ? Tune in next time to find out.


	7. The Buffy RipOff

A/N- Thanks to Tongue in Cheek Scribe, Nienna, and LadyoftheLlamas. Also thanks to my daughter Jordan for making me laugh so hard today I cried. I'll tell you what she did. Today was her first day of school ever. So we decided to buy her a special treat. My hubby found the Harry Potter Every Flavor Jelly Beans. My daughter is a Harry Potter fanatic. She opened them up and what is the first one she pops in her mouth. Sardine. Jordan got the weirdest look on her face before walking over to me and saying ",Mom, these aren't very good. Pick out the good ones for me." Her dad ate the vomit one and that's what I thought he was going to do. So I did the only thing I could do. I rolled on the floor while laughing so hard that I cried.  
  
Disclaimer- I don't even own my car so what makes you think I own Lord of the Rings ? I also don't own Buffy or Yellowcard or their songs. I don't think I own the gumdrop song either. I can't remember.  
  
The Buffy Rip-Off  
  
When we last left out (cough) heroes (snort, giggle) Celeborn and Elrond's spell had just been cast causing Tina to sing when she didn't want to. Now we come to the next morning.  
  
Tina's POV  
  
I awoke to sun light streaming into the room and shining on my face. I grumbled something about the sun being too cheery in the morning and that it needed to have a bad day soon before Eriana happily strolled into the room. "Come now, Lady Tina, you cannot spend all day in bed."  
  
"Sure I can. Its very easy. You should try it."  
  
"Twas not a question. Now up. You have a very long day ahead of you."  
  
She yanked the covers off of me and pulled me out of bed. I had a very long day ahead of me ? A long day of what ? Walking around Minas Tirith bored to tears ? Despite being in a very vast kingdom and being friends with the king there wasn't much to do. I let Eriana drag me out of bed before she busied herself with finding a dress that would be appropriate for the slightly cool day. Singing drifted in the window from the gardens below. Singing ? Did I get sent into a musical or something ? I ran to the window and looked down to see Aragorn serenading Arwen. She had her nose in the air which could only mean that Aragorn had done something extremely stupid the night before and had pissed her off. So that could be the only reason he was singing....Yellowcard to her. I arched an eyebrow as the familiar music made its way to my ears:  
  
_Broken this fragile thing now _

_And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces_

_And I've thrown my words all around_

_But I can't, I can't give you a reason  
  
I feel so broken up (so broken up)  
And I give up (I give up) I just want to tell you so you know  
  
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you _

_You are my only one _

_I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do_

_ You are my only, my only one  
  
Made my mistakes, let you down _

_And I can't, I can't hold on for too long _

_Ran my whole life in the ground _

_And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone  
  
And something's breaking up (breaking up)  
I feel like giving up (like giving up)  
I won't walk out until you know  
  
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you _

_You are my only one _

_I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do_

_You are my only my only one  
  
Here I go so dishonestly _

_Leave a note for you my only one _

_And I know you can see right through me_

_So let me go and you will find someone  
  
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you_

_You are my only one I let go, _

_there's just no one, no one like you _

_You are my only, my only one _

_My only one _

_My only one _

_My only one _

_You are my only, my only one_.  
  
So Aragorn finally quit singing, looking quite hopeful that Arwen would forgive him for being a stupid man. The look quickly disappeared when she huffed at him before storming out of the garden. I applauded Aragorn to save most of his pride and he greeted me with a small smile. "Such a beautiful song," Eriana replied behind me ",strange though. I don't believe I have ever heard that one before. King Elessar must have written it himself."

"Uhm, okay, if you say so," I muttered as Eriana shooed me to the bathtub to bathe before getting dressed. Once I was dressed in one of the finest silk dresses (according to Eriana) that was a beautiful sky color she pushed me down into the seat of the vanity.

"I do not know what to do with your hair, Lady Tina. Is it customary for the ladies in your lands to wear their hair so short ?"

"Yes, there are many things to do through the day and short hair makes it easier to get them done. We don't spend so much time setting it."

More singing could be heard coming from somewhere in the city. The voice was a woman's and it sounded horrible. I couldn't even tell you the song my ears were hurting so badly. It must've been something by Celine Dion to nearly make my ears bleed that way. Eriana quickly ushered me out of the room and straight into the chest of Legolas. "'Quel amrun, mellonamin. I am here to escort you to the morning meal."

I pulled myself out of his chest and smiled up at my friend ",Manka lle merna. Why isn't Haldir here ?"

"It seems," Legolas cleared his throat ",that the Marchwarden is having a fair amount of trouble keeping himself from bursting into song."

"Song ? Haldir doesn't sing."

"He seems to be making up for it today."

"Amin elea," I mumbled going into deep thought.

"Your elvish has improved greatly since our last meeting."

"It has been eight years, Legolas. I would hope that it would."

"Eight years ? It has been only a few months here. Time passes strangely in your world."

The whole kingdom seemed to be bursting into song at random intervals. We entered the banquet hall only to have our ears assaulted by the hobbits singing a drinking song, Gimli bellowing out a song in dwarfish, and my twins singing the gumdrop song that they had made up. Jordan and Logan seemed to be the loudest of all of the people trying to eat breakfast while singing:

_One little gumdrop falls from the sky _

_It hits me in the eye _

_And I cry _

_Because sugar burns when it gets in your eye _

_That's why sugar doesn't belong in your eye _

_Two little gumdrops fall from the sky _

_They hit me in both my eyes _

_And I cry _

_Because sugar burns when it gets in your eyes _

_That's why sugar is meant for cereal _

_And not for your eyes_  
  
All of the singing continued on for several more minutes before the hall became stone silent. I looked up at Legolas and he looked down at me, both of our faces very concerned. "Celeborn," I muttered.

"He had to have had help in this matter. The spell did not fail as badly as previous attempts."

"I'm suddenly not in the mood to eat. I feel like beating an Elvish Lord to within an inch of his life. Care to join ?"

"It would be my pleasure."  
  
A/N 2- Next time- The Buffy Rip-Off Part 2, Elrond and Celeborn are no where to be found as their spell takes its full hold on the people of Middle Earth. Tina sings again and can't seem to stop. Haldir is still making up for lost singing time. The twins let their mom know how they really feel by singing something other than the gumdrop song. Arwen may forgive Aragorn. So let the badly done rip-off continue.  
Nienna, I e-mailed you. Did you get it ? Let me know if you did. You know you can e-mail me through my link on my bio page. So will you do it already. And to all of you faithful readers out there please read and review.

A/N 3- Elvish Translations

'Quel amrun, Mellonamin- Good morning, my friend.

Manke lle merna- If you wish

Amin elea- I see


	8. The Buffy Ripoff Part two

A/N- This one is going to be fairly long. I was going to make it three parts but I think I'll make it two. But you never know since I'm writing this straight from my brain onto the computer. Now here are my thanks: LadyoftheLlamas (I'm sending Merry through the fax machine now but you know how squirmy hobbits can be), Tongue in Cheek Scribe and Nienna. Nienna you will have a pleasant surprise at the end of this story. Now here are some recommendations for you guys to go read: Middle Earth World and Master of the Game by Tongue in Cheek Scribe. The Terrors of Middle Earth and all of the other stories by Nienna-Yavetil (sorry, girl, I can't remember the names of the other stories since its been so long since you updated them). Oh, and Nienna, I'm e-mailing you again today if you don't get it mail me at bakercook11ataoldotcom. Now on with the story.  
  
The Buffy Rip-Off Part 2  
  
Tina's POV  
  
How many damn levels does this place have ? I've already been through two and have burst into song three times. THREE TIMES ! I'm going back to the citadel. By searching every nook and cranny in these two levels its now almost dark. I don't want to keep singing. Maybe if I hide in my room I won't do it anymore. That horrid woman is still screeching something that I think is suppose to be a song but I can't even tell anymore.  
  
I made my way back up into the citadel passing all of the guards as I went along. They didn't say anything. I think they didn't want to sing as much as I didn't. I turned to look down to the city below and soon realized I had made a big mistake as my mouth opened and yet another song poured out from it:  
  
The stars will cry the blackest tears tonight And this is the moment that I live for I can smell the ocean air Here I am pouring my heart onto these rooftops Just a ghost to the world Thats exactly,  
Exactly what I need...  
  
From up here the city lights burn Like a thousand miles of fire And I'm here to sing this anthem of our dying day...  
  
For a second I wish the tide will swallow every inch of the city As you gasp for air tonight I'd scream this song right in your face if you were here Cause then I wont miss a beat cause I never,  
Never have before...  
  
From up here the city lights burn Like a thousand miles of fire And I'm here to sing this anthem of our dying day...  
  
Of our dying day Of our dying day OF OUR DYING...  
  
For a second I wish the tide would swallow every inch of this city As your gasped for air tonight...  
  
My throat was really starting to get scratchy now. Maybe I could find some tea in the kitchens and a nice stiff shot of whatever strong alcohol they happen to have in stock. Jeez, this is what its come down to. I haven't touched booze in so many years that I've lost count and after only a few songs I'm ready to start up again. Someone cleared their throat behind me. I whipped around sharply and lost my footing, falling into the arms of Haldir. He smiled down at me as he steadied me. "You've been avoiding everyone," I whispered.  
  
"I do not think anyone wishes to hear my singing. They are the most peculiar songs."  
  
"Anything would be better than the animal being tortured down in the lower levels or even Gimli singing whatever the hell he was singing."  
  
"Perhaps," Haldir said thoughtfully ",we should have a talk later this evening. Once everyone has settled in for the night."  
  
"Fine."  
  
Haldir's POV  
  
I went in search of the one person who could help me sort through everything that I was feeling. The wisest, fairest of all elves. I went in search of the Lady Galadriel. I stopped in front of her door not knowing if I wished to know the answers to all of the questions bouncing around in my head. "You may enter, Haldir. I have been expecting you," the fair Lady spoke in my head.  
  
I pushed open the door and walked into the sitting rooms while saying ",I do not mean to intrude, My Lady. It is that..."  
  
"You need my council. You find confusion and tumult where there was once not any. You seek to know what you should do about Lady Tina."  
  
"Aye. I never thought that I would have feelings for a female edain. I have always believed they were beneath me. Now I find that I think about Lady Tina every waking moment. Most of my sleeping ones also. We have children together. I do not know how I feel about her. I look to her as my equal. My friend. My companion."  
  
Lady Galadriel's laughter rang out like crystal ",My dear, oblivious Haldir. You love her. You have known her what equals to be barely a moment in an elf's life and you have fallen in love with her."  
  
"I fear that is true."  
  
"Why do you fear it ? Love is nothing to fear unless it is that you fear she does not feel the same."  
  
"I do not know how she feels. I know that she does not hate me. But does she love me ?"  
  
"Was that not what you were planning on discussing with her tonight ?"  
  
"Aye. I feel that was not the best decision. What if she rejects me ?"  
  
"I can assure you that she will not. She gave birth to your children. There are feelings there within her heart for you."  
  
"But is it love ?"  
  
"I will not tell you that, Haldir. You must find that out on your own."  
  
I nodded to the fair Lady out of respect and turned to leave when another question tugged at my mind. I looked over my shoulder at her and asked ",Why are you not under the spell that has been cast ?"  
  
"I learned long ago to protect myself against all of my husbands misguided spells and charms that he seeks to cast for his own gain. Perhaps I shall teach you to do the same."  
  
So I left the rooms and went off in the direction of Tina's room. Perhaps everything will turn out to be just as I wish it to be.  
  
Tina's POV  
  
The loud knock on my door interrupted the conversation I was having with Eriana. She had just informed me that she was falling for Faber. He was one lucky guy if you ask me. Eriana opened the door and Haldir stepped in. "If you would excuse us," Haldir stated never taking his eyes off of me.  
  
Eriana left the room quietly leaving me alone with Haldir. My heart was suddenly in my throat. My stomach was practically on the ground. There were butterflies fluttering all throughout my body. "I wish to talk to you, Tina."  
  
"I'm listening."  
  
"I want to know how you feel. About me. About us."  
  
"Are you blind ? Can't you see how I feel. You oaf. I love you. But there are things that get in the way of that."  
  
"We will move them aside."  
  
Another song began in the gardens below and I recognized it immediately:  
  
Hope dangles on a string Like slow spinning redemption Winding in and winding out The shine of it has caught my eye And roped me in So mesmerizing, and so hypnotizing I am captivated, I am...  
  
[Chorus] Vindicated I am selfish I am wrong I am right I swear I'm right Swear I knew it all along And I am flawed But I am cleaning up so well I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself  
  
So clear Like the diamond in your ring Cut to mirror your intention Oversized and overwhelmed The shine of which has caught my eye And rendered me so isolated, so motivated I am certain now that I am...  
  
[Chorus]  
  
So turn Up the corners of your lips Part them and feel my finger tips Trace the moment, fall forever Defense is paper thin Just one touch and I'd be in Too deep now to ever swim against the current So let me slip away [3x] So let me slip against the current So let me slip away [4x]  
  
[Chorus]  
  
Like hope Dangles on a string Like slow spinning redemption...  
  
You don't need to know the rest of what happened in that room that night.  
  
Haldir's POV  
  
I once again did not sleep the entire night. Something tugging at the corners of my mind said that I should cherish every moment here. I looked down at Tina. She was sleeping but it had not been a peaceful one. Several songs had awakened her from sleep. At one time she was singing in her sleep while in the midst of a nightmare. She had been remembering the night that Jacob had been killed by the orcs. Dried tears were on her cheek. I leaned down and brushed my lips against the scar that was on her cheek. She immediately woke up. Tina smiled up at me and muttered while nuzzeling in closer ",You elves and early mornings. Learn how to sleep in. Does everyone here wake up at the butt crack of dawn ?"  
  
I just laughed. Then we realized something. There was no singing. The morning was absolutely quiet. Maybe that dreadful woman had lost her voice. A knock on the door and Eriana's muffled voice greeted us ",Lady Tina, Marchwarden Haldir, your presence is required by the King in the library. It is most urgent."  
  
"We'll be right there," Tina called back before collapsing on the bed again.  
  
All intentions of not moving quickly vanished when a shrill scream cut through the air. If you thought Mandy stuck to the ceiling and blue Mandy were bad enough. You should have seen what the twins had done this time. She was once again plastered to the ceiling and was still blue but this time she had bright pink polka dots all over her body and her head had been shaved. Mandy was yelling her head off like she was being tortured by orcs. Tina and I decided not to let her down. Instead we dressed and found out way to the library.  
  
A/N- Next Chapter- Its All Your Fault. Celeborn and Elrond's spell has worn off but now its time for some old friends to revisit old memories and place the blame on someone. Logan decides to convince Gandalf to send them back home in a way that only Logan could think of. Jordan gets in trouble for sending numerous Gondorian guards to the Houses of Healing. And Nienna has some important news to share.  
  
There are only two chapters left now before I move on with the final part of the story. That one will be called Somewhere Over the Rainbow and it takes place fifty years in the future. It will let you know what happens to everyone. (sniff) All good things must come to an end (sniff). But at least now I can concentrate on Move Over Dolly. 


	9. Its All Your Fault

A/N- To Tongue In Cheek Scribe: Oi ! Triplets ? I think the twins are enough for Tina to handle. Although I could be completely mean and have her have triplets. Won't Haldir be happy about that ? lol. And if I gave away every sordid detail of what happened in the room that night then this wouldn't be a PG-13 fic it would be like XXXXXX. lol. Thanks for the review.  
  
Nienna- I sent you another e-mail but I guess you didn't get it. I also posted a comment to your journal but I still haven't heard anything from you except for the reviews. So I'll just ask you here. Do you want to write a story with me to see what kind of random, insane chaos we can come up with ? Let me know by mailing me or leaving it in the review.  
  
So, here we are at the next to last chapter. I have massive writer's block on one part of this story but I'll see if I can work through it. I had originally planned for it to be much longer but it kind of died on me. Damn muse abandoned me to take care of her mutant plot bunnies. Stupid muse. (Muse smacks me upside the head) OUCH !  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own it so, uhm, yeah.  
  
Its All Your Fault  
  
Logan's POV  
  
Me and Jordan had our ears pressed against the door of the library to hear what was going on since we weren't allowed in. Mandy was yelling pretty loud. I now see why dad called her a screaming banshee. My ears are ringing just listening to her. "ITS ALL YOUR FAULT," I could hear Mandy screaming on the other side of the door.  
  
"MY FAULT ! I didn't exactly make them appear in our world. Celeborn was the one who cast the spell. I don't even want to get into the reasons for that one," Mom shot back.  
  
"But it was your idea to fight all of the orcs. Even after we had been saved my the marines. You could've just told them to drop us someplace safe," Jonothan said.  
  
"Someplace safe," it was Matt now. "Where would we have been safe ? The damn orcs were taking over every city they walked into. New Orleans went down in less than an hour. Hammond in less than twenty minutes. Now tell me where the hell they would've taken us."  
  
I heard Joel this time ",Out of the country. Over to Europe."  
  
"There were orcs there too you moron," Nienna spoke up.  
  
There was some throat clearing before the door to the room swung open sending Jordan and me into the room face first. We both looked up to see Legolas staring down at us with an amused smile on his face ",Are you sure they're not part hobbit, Tina ? They seem to have their curiosity."  
  
"Positive. Didn't I tell you two to go play."  
  
"Yeah, but mom...," I was cut off mid-sentance by Aragorn.  
  
"Before they leave I need a word with young Jordan. It seems that she single-handedly sent several citadel guards to the houses of healing with complaints of mental anguish. I even had one man tell me he would rather take on a fell beast than face her again. What do you have to say to this Jordan ?"  
  
"They don't make them like they use to," Jordan mumbled with a raised eyebrow at the king.  
  
"I think you should have guard duty at the first gate today. Is this alright, Tina ?"  
  
"Fine with me. Leave her out there for a week if you want to. Be sure she has to wear the armor though. We want her to have the full experience."  
  
Aragorn rang a bell and soon two guards appeared behind us. He instructed them on what to do and soon enough they had drug my sister off kicking and screaming. I turned back to look at my mom but Mandy's appearance caught my eye ",You look better, Mandy. Less alien. I'm sure you'll fit right in back home."  
  
I turned and ran from the room before the book Mandy threw at me could make contact. Now I was off to find the wizard who had not been in the study. It was easy enough. He was talking with Frodo in another library. Both looked at me questioningly while Gandalf spoke ",Master Logan ? I thought you would be with your mother."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I need to talk to you but it seems that you've been avoiding me."  
  
"What do you wish to speak of ?"  
  
"How about sending us home. I don't want to stay here anymore."  
  
"I feel that is a decision your mother must make," the old wizard laughed.  
  
That was it. I'd had it. I wanted to go home and I was going to my last resort to get Gandalf to send us home. I grabbed his staff. I tapped it on the ground twice and made the top light up. Frodo's mouth dropped open. "I haven't spent so much time on-line trying to find a way to get rid of my sister without learning a few things. Now listen up you old, dirty, mangy, tired excuse for a wizard. You're going to send us back home. Not next year. Not next month. Not next week. But by tomorrow. I'm not hanging around here while my mom gets all cozy to that nancying elf, Haldir. I have a dad back home she needs to be with."  
  
"I will not be ordered around by a child," Gandalf roared but was looking at his staff a little nervously.  
  
"Have it your way," I quipped as I tapped the staff against the stone again and aimed it at Gandalf. A bright flash and then there was Gandalf the hippo.  
  
"Turn me back."  
  
"Say you'll send us home first."  
  
There was a moments hesitation in which I raised the staff to hit it on the ground again but Gandalf's voice stopped me ",Fine, I will send you back in the morning."  
  
"Good."  
  
I tapped the staff and turned Gandalf back. I handed him his staff and he looked like he was considering turning me into a toad.  
  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. You know how my mom can get."  
  
I left leaving a grumbling Gandalf and a speechless Frodo. I seem to get those reactions a lot and I don't even have to do anything.  
  
Tina's POV  
  
We were still sitting around the study yelling at one another and giving all of the elves in the room a headache. This was getting old. It was just like when we were all back in Hammond. Mandy threw one of tantrums and expected everything to go her way. Well, not this time. I had finally had enough. She behaved worse than my twins sometimes. I shot to my feet and bellowed louder than everyone in the room ",ENOUGH !" Once I had everyone's attention I spoke more quietly ",I won't accept blame for what happened. It happened. Its in the past and you guys need to get over it. If that means never speaking to the rest of us again then that's how it has to be. At least it'll save me some future headaches."  
  
I gathered up my dress and left the room. Matt and Nienna weren't far behind me. "What now," Matt asked.  
  
"I think its time we went home. At least its time for me to go home. The twins have too much trouble to get into here. And there's the dig site. And some unfinished business between me and O.C."  
  
Matt sighed while running his hand over his short hair ",I think I'm ready to go home. This has been a nice weekend away but I gotta go back."  
  
The two of us turned to Nienna who was busy kicking the floor and not looking at us. "I've been meanin' to tell you guys. I'm not goin' home. I'm goin' to the Shire with Frodo and the others."  
  
"I see," I said with a huge grin. "Nienna can't get enough hobbit lovin' huh ?"  
  
Nienna turned five shades of red before saying that she needed to find Frodo and running off. Matt and I looked at one another before bursting out laughing. When we managed to calm ourselves down Logan was standing in front of us.  
  
"Are you sure that I'm the eight year old here ?"  
  
Once again we started laughing. "What is it, Logan," I managed to get out.  
  
"Had a nice talk with Gandalf. We're goin' home tomorrow."  
  
Haldir appeared out of the shadows at hearing that. "You cannot leave. You just got here."  
  
"Lets go talk, Haldir."  
  
I lead him to my rooms and he slumped onto the bed. "Why do you wish to go home ?"  
  
"I have responsibilities there. I have a job to finish. I have kids to raise. Do you need any other reasons ?"  
  
"Are your duties really that important ?"  
  
"Yours were."  
  
"That is not fair. You can raise our children here."  
  
"Where. You won't stay in Minas Tirith. So then where would we raise them ?"  
  
"My home. Lothlorien."  
  
Now it was my turn to say ",That's not fair. You want me to live in a realm full of elves ? You want me to grow old and watch as you and your people don't age a day ? Are you really that selfish, Haldir ? Would you put me through that ? Could you put yourself through that ?"  
  
He closed the distance between us and traced the scar on my cheek ",You will never be old in my eyes. I could do it."  
  
"You know what will happen if I stay and I die. You'll go right with me."  
  
"We could still be together."  
  
"My mind is already made up. I'm going home."  
  
"Then I will not be there to see you off."  
  
"Fine. You do what you have to do, Haldir. I'll do what I have to."  
  
With that Haldir stormed out of the room slamming the door behind him.  
  
The Next Morning....  
  
The twins were the first ones to wake me up by pouncing on me. I shot out of bed knocking one twin to the side and the other one completely off of the bed. I looked down to see Jordan rubbing her backside. I grinned ",You should know better by now. This happens to you everytime."  
  
She just pouted while Logan pulled on my arm ",Come on, Mom. Get dressed. We gotta leave. Gotta go home."  
  
"Have you two spoken to your father ?"  
  
"Dad's back on our world mom. Were you knocked on the head ?"  
  
"Not O.C., Logan. Haldir. Have you two spoken to Haldir ?"  
  
"No," Logan sniffed with his nose up in the air. God, he was too much like Haldir. "And I won't do it either."  
  
"Fine. I won't make you. Now out. I have to get dressed."  
  
I pushed them out of the room and then dressed in the clothes that I'd fallen here in. I met back up with my kids and we walked out to the courtyard that we had landed in. Everyone was there except for Haldir. We said our good-byes and I made the twins apologize to Aragorn for their behavior. Once gathered around again I looked over at Nienna who smiled ",Are you going to say good-bye to me ?"  
  
"No," I shook my head with a smile ",I'm saying good luck and have fun. I'll see ya 'round."  
  
"Be safe. Keep the twins from sharp, pointy objects," she sighed as she left us to join the hobbits.  
  
"I'm not going back home either," Faber replied, leaving our group to go stand beside Eriana. I nodded my head with a smile. Maybe Faber could find peace here.  
  
"Is that everyone who will be staying," Gandalf snapped. "Or do any of you have any last minute changes."  
  
"Just send us home you old goat," Logan barked.  
  
Blinding white light. I woke up on my couch in complete darkness. I looked around but saw no one. I ran to the twins' room and saw that they were sleeping peacefully in their pajamas which I knew they hadn't been wearing on our return trip. I searched the rest of the house but there was no sign of anyone. Was it all a dream ? The mallorn ! I ran to my research room and managed to open the safe after a few tries. It was empty. I tore the room apart. There was no sign of anything. Maybe I was crazy. The phone rang and I went to answer it.  
  
"Hello," I sighed sounding quite dejected.  
  
"Tina, its Matt. Did you just have the strangest dream ? We were in Middle Earth."  
  
"Yeah. I guess that's all it was. Only a dream."  
  
"I'm goin' back to sleep. I'll call you later."  
  
"Fine." I hung the phone but picked it back up again. I dialed Nienna's number. There was no answer. I continued to let it ring for about half an hour before I decided she must've gotten ear plugs.  
  
So everything was just in my head ? I was really crazy then ? So I guess my mom was right ? No way in hell.  
  
Next Time- All Is Not Right With the World  
  
Tina and the twins head home. This is the last chapter. I will post the next part of the story called Somewhere Over The Rainbow in the next few days. Somewhere Over the Rainbow will only be three chapters so I just thought that I'd warn you. 


	10. All Is Not Right With The World

Disclaimer- I hate repeating my self. Legolas: I hate hearing you repeat yourself. Me: Shut it, Elf. I know Tongue In Cheek Scribe and I can ask her to do many nasty things to you. Legolas: Eep !  
  
All Is Not Right With the World  
  
Tina's POV  
  
It took me several weeks to transfer the dig sites over to my assistant. I left him with strict instructions that he was to call me if anything interesting was found. I flew back home with the kids. I drove home feeling older than I actually was. It would be nice to be home again. I pulled into our driveway only to see a reporter and her photographer. I wasn't even out of the car when she started her questioning. "Tina, I'm Reanna and I work for People magazine. I just have a few questions for you and would like to take a few pictures of you and your children if its okay."  
  
I finished getting out of the car and slammed the door. I looked at Reanna with all of the anger I could muster which was quite a bit. "You must be new there. Tell me do you happen to remember a piece printed about me in People around two years ago. It wasn't very big, just a paragraph, but very informative for reporters."  
  
"I can't say that I'm familiar with it."  
  
"It went along the lines of Valentina Baker, civilian war hero, made judicial history today by having a state supreme court judge award her with the largest restraining order ever. The restraining order pertains to all reporters and photographers employed by publications. The distance that must be kept from Ms. Baker at all times is to be no less that a five mile radius. Now if you'll excuse me. I'm going to call the sheriff." I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed the number ",Hello, Vince. Its Tina. Yeah, I'm back in town and I have a little problem. I have a reporter and her photographer violating the restraining order. Good. I'll see you in five minutes."  
  
Reanna went a sickly shade of white ",Y-y-you're having us arrested ?"  
  
"Not if you can make it out of town in five minutes." I smiled as they stumbled back to their car. "Bye."  
  
I unloaded the kids and our luggage and we went inside the house. Jordan looked around in awe at the walls ",Daddy fixed the holes. Must....destroy....house....now....must...undo....dad's....work."  
  
Jordan began tearing through the house making new holes where old ones had been. Logan looked up at me, smiling brightly ",Going to find a way to open the hell mouth."  
  
Logan sat down at the computer. I walked into the living room to see O.C. sitting on the couch moving every few minutes to see the TV around Jordan. I dropped my bags and sat next to him. I rubbed his clean-shaven head and said ",I'm home."  
  
A/N- So ends Click Your Heels Three Times. Tune in for the final part of the Trilogy entitled Somewhere over the Rainbow. 


End file.
